Wednesday, November 6, 2013

When Reality Crashes Through Imagination - An IWSG Post

I didn’t realize it was the first Wednesday in November and I almost missed my chance to post on IWSG day (check out the other posts here).  But, thankfully, I remembered in time so that I can participate, since I have a doozy of an issue to report this month.  

I’ve been writing full time (in addition to a full-time job) for over five years, have published three books since last year, and was scheduled to publish my fourth book in December.  I am a planner.  I am driven and all sorts of fired up to get my writing career off the ground.  I have dreams and dedication and can really see the pieces moving on the grand chess board of life.  Yup, all that.  But what I also have are some health issues that are seriously crashing through my dreams, goals, plans, and drive.  I am struggling with the reality that I really should postpone my upcoming book release (but I seriously love this book and want to get it out into the world) and slow down my over-working tendencies that don’t allow for things like exhaustion and illness.  This decision is truly crushing me the same way the health issues are.  I hate running up against limitations.  I want to be fearless and brave, steady and unrelenting.  I want to be the hero of my epic publishing tale.  And in my mind, heroes aren’t bound by stupid human weakness.

Only they are.  I am.  We all are.

All of us writers are living in two worlds, one with the dragons and the other with... well, the dragons.  Only in real life, the dragons include illness (self and others), loss, jobs, bills, financial challenges, and other miscellaneous responsibilities that are way less cool than the other sparkly, fire-breathing dragons.

And just like in fiction, life is hard sometimes and sometimes, we do hit the boundaries that make us feel small.  Health issues do that very, very quickly.

I’m not at all resolved about postponing my book release, but I really think I am going to have to get resolved very soon.  But the one thing I am certain of is that this challenge of mine is shared by all of the other writers living in the real world and trying to tackle our seemingly impossible dreams.

We are all in this together, especially on IWSG day.


Laura Marcella said...

I'm so sorry you're having health issues. It may be disappointing to push back your book release, but your health should come first. I hope you get well soon and best of luck with your writing and book.

Happy reading and writing! from Laura Marcella @ Wavy Lines

Donna B. McNicol said...

Finding the balance can be very difficult for type-A personalities. When I was still working in IT Management (I'm not retired), I had some major medical issues that were directly impacted by stress. I truly felt that I'd be out on disability before the end of the year.

For whatever reason, a change was offered to me that allowed me to leave the high-stress job and move to a much lower stress one. Since then I've managed to learn how to pace myself and my daily pain and fatigue have improved a lot.

I learned to think of my energy as deposits in a bank and eventually learned how to not overdraw my account. I learned to bank the energy on some days so I could do more on others.

Now as a retiree, I get to balance personal time (travel, motorcycling, moving to Ecuador) with my writing time. Sometimes months go by without any work on my books, other times I spend weeks on nothing but.

Good luck in your quest for balance!

Charity Bradford said...

It's hard to dampen our drive, but health is so important. Just think of it this way. If you slow down now and get better, you'll have a lot more time to write even more books.

Good luck!

Holli Moncrieff said...

I really feel for you. I'm so sorry to hear about your illness. That must be terribly frustrating.

I'm not ill at the moment, but I can relate to some of what you're feeling. I am also having to rethink some of my over-ambitious goals and realize there's only so much time in the day. If we drive ourselves into the ground, we'll have even less time to write.

Please take the time you need to get better. If you don't publish your book in December, you can in January. More people will probably notice it then, anyways.

Take care. I hope you feel well soon. IWSG unite!

Huntress, aka CD Coffelt said...

Excellent, excellent post. How I wish my life had only the four-legged dragons in it. I'd even put up with the fire and roaring.

Kasie West said...

The most important thing is that you take care of yourself, lady. Your book will still be there in a few months.

Donelle Lacy said...

I'm going through an illness right now myself. In fact, that's what I chose to blog about for ISWG. Illness and health issues are so tough to go through. You can't battle them with the usual can-do spirit unless you couple that with rest and proper care. I'm finding that out myself.

We're so hard on ourselves. We're our own worst critics and taskmasters moreso than anyone else can be sometimes. What we need to remember is that there are seasons for things and time we are 'allowed' to rest, to be sick, to not be the supers we're trying so hard most of the year to be. And it's okay. It's all about the balance.

Take care of yourself and remember that it will pass and you can be super again. ^_^

Suzanne Sapsed said...

All too often real life messes up with the perfectly planned life. Sometimes it's a minor inconvenience, but other times it's health - and that's when you need to listen to you head not your heart. Take a breather, a planned postponement will be better for you in the long run I'm sure.
Suzanne @ Suzannes Tribe

J.L. Campbell said...

Like you said, we all go through those experiences.

I'm sorry to hear that you have health issues, but hope that you will be able to settle on a publication schedule that works for you.