After a weekend spent with a dear friend whom I’d lost contact with for more than a decade, the concept of change has been playing around in my mind. And maybe change is the wrong word; maybe evolution would be better. Either way, as years pass and events affect us, we do change, hopefully (though not always) for the better.
When I last saw my friend, I was living in the “stuck” years. And in our conversations, it was difficult to even wrap my brain around how that felt, how I’d come to be so stuck, and why getting unstuck seemed so insurmountable. To be stuck seems like a lifetime from the fluid and free I feel now. But the freedom of now took a very long time to get here, over many tiny changes and different paths. And honestly, I had to endure some of the darkest days to find the place I now inhabit.
Reminiscing weekends can be many things, depending on whether the glory days are behind or in front of us. What I found is that the glory days aren’t behind or in front, or they are behind and in front, because every time in life has something to glory about, even if it was so treacherous as to fuel needed change. The power to get unstuck seems to be easier from a truly yucky point than from a less than stellar, but not truly great spot. For me, right now, the glory days are every day that I write, every day I serve my purpose, every day I take care of my body, relax, listen, learn.
Over and over in my conversations with my friend, I found writing as the source for the positive changes in my life. The highway marker where perceptions shifted. Where unhealthy friendships ended. Where fights occurred to re-establish boundaries. Where, after many years in absence, self-love happened. All of these changes led to the one major event that has happened just lately, the state of acceptance.
There is such peace in acceptance. So much so that I am in awe of it. It doesn’t mean that life becomes easy, because there are some events in my life right now that are very hard, but acceptance helps to put things in perspective, to be grateful for all the things that are easily forgotten, and to truly take the bad with the good. And a side effect of true acceptance of self is the sudden and seemingly inexplicable acceptance of everybody else (which honestly just feels weird). Really, not getting irritated with other people and accepting them for where they are at feels stranger than waving fingers around in traffic. But it just happened.
However, for as much as I love this acceptance of all things, I know from all that I’ve learned that this, like every other evolutionary stage in our development, is not a fixed point. There will be days of greater or lesser acceptance, days when sniping at the lady with the cart full of food that she wants rung up separately will be necessary for balancing the cosmic scales. There will be days when gratitude goes on the fritz, and acceptance of the difficult and painful events in life will be hard to come by. But even with the wavering nature of the human experience, I’m grateful for the glory of today.
Quote for the Day from “Turn, Turn, Turn” by the Byrds
“To Everything (Turn, Turn, Turn)
There is a season (Turn, Turn, Turn)
And a time to every purpose, under Heaven”