Tuesday, September 7, 2010


After a weekend spent with a dear friend whom I’d lost contact with for more than a decade, the concept of change has been playing around in my mind. And maybe change is the wrong word; maybe evolution would be better. Either way, as years pass and events affect us, we do change, hopefully (though not always) for the better.

When I last saw my friend, I was living in the “stuck” years. And in our conversations, it was difficult to even wrap my brain around how that felt, how I’d come to be so stuck, and why getting unstuck seemed so insurmountable. To be stuck seems like a lifetime from the fluid and free I feel now. But the freedom of now took a very long time to get here, over many tiny changes and different paths. And honestly, I had to endure some of the darkest days to find the place I now inhabit.

Reminiscing weekends can be many things, depending on whether the glory days are behind or in front of us. What I found is that the glory days aren’t behind or in front, or they are behind and in front, because every time in life has something to glory about, even if it was so treacherous as to fuel needed change. The power to get unstuck seems to be easier from a truly yucky point than from a
less than stellar, but not truly great spot. For me, right now, the glory days are every day that I write, every day I serve my purpose, every day I take care of my body, relax, listen, learn.

Over and over in my conversations with my friend, I found writing as the source for the positive changes in my life. The highway marker where perceptions shifted. Where unhealthy friendships ended. Where fights occurred to re-establish boundaries. Where, after many years in absence, self-love happened. All of these changes led to the one major event that has happened just lately, the state of acceptance.

There is such peace in acceptance. So much so that I am in awe of it. It doesn’t mean that life becomes easy, because there are some events in my life right now that are very hard, but acceptance helps to put things in perspective, to be grateful for all the things that are easily forgotten, and to truly take the bad with the good. And a side effect of true acceptance of self is the sudden and seemingly inexplicable acceptance of everybody else (which honestly just feels weird). Really, not getting irritated with other people and accepting them for where they are at feels stranger than waving fingers around in traffic. But it just happened.

However, for as much as I love this acceptance of all things, I know from all that I’ve learned that this, like every other evolutionary stage in our development, is not a fixed point. There will be days of greater or lesser acceptance, days when sniping at the lady with the cart full of food that she wants rung up separately will be necessary for balancing the cosmic scales. There will be days when gratitude goes on the fritz, and acceptance of the difficult and painful events in life will be hard to come by. But even with the wavering nature of the human experience, I’m grateful for the glory of today.

Quote for the Day from “Turn, Turn, Turn” by the Byrds

“To Everything (Turn, Turn, Turn)

There is a season (Turn, Turn, Turn)
And a time to every purpose, under Heaven”


Caroline Starr Rose said...

Lovely. Makes me think of this quote by Frederick Buechner:

“Listen to your life. See it for the fathomless mystery that it is. In the boredom and pain of it no less than in the excitement and gladness: touch, taste, smell your way to the holy and hidden heart of it because in the last analysis all moments are key moments, and life itself is grace.”

Kasie West said...

What? I have to accept people for who they are? Man. :) It's so true. I find that when I try not to worry about what others are doing and worry more about what I am doing, that I am a much happier person.

Patti said...

I love that quote, there is a season. I use it a lot, especially when I don't want to do something, which I guess isn't the purpose.

Stacy Henrie said...

Beautiful post! Coming to that acceptance and breaking free of old habits is tough, especially when those close to you don't understand. I applaud your journey!

Lola Sharp said...

Living in the present and focusing on our blessings is definitely the best way to be unstuck.

I love that you are finding your happy place...and renewed an old friendship. :)


Debra L. Schubert said...

Don't know how I missed this insightful post - maybe because now (1:40AM on Saturday morning, Devyn's 1st birthday!) is the perfect time for me to read it.

Acceptance comes and goes, but when it is here, life is miraculous. Part of being human is striving to be in that precious state more times than not.

I love you deeply, I hope you know that. Thank you for this post. It is a beautiful gift.

Jemi Fraser said...

Acceptance is never easy and it is so like a roller coaster ride. So glad you're in a good place right now. :)