Thursday, February 4, 2010

Lily Pad Leaping — Agent Style

Anyone who’s been querying for a while has probably noticed that agents are a mobile group. It’s common to see that Ms. Fab U. Agent started her career at the Agency of Beloved Books, moved to The Obsessive Book Devourers Agency, and is now happily situated at High Faluting Books. This is so common that it got me thinking (as fictionally prone people are known to do) about the reasons why so many agents move around, and I thought I’d share a few.


To protect the identities of these agents, I have renamed them. I certainly wouldn’t want to accidentally stumble upon the truth and pull people into or out of their sacred life bubbles.


And speaking of bubbles...


I decided that one amazing agent, Clara Readerlee, decided to move agencies because her old agency involved group query reading exercises in a bubble-filled hot tub. Why would she leave, you ask? Those pruny toes began to interfere with her chi, of course.


Another Agent, we will call Tallulah Longbottom, left an agency to move to another because at the new agency, a studly romance novel cover model provided foot massages and fed her grapes while she strolled through queries at an alarmingly slow pace. The happy hour mai tais may have been another factor in her decision.


Agent Marinique SoontobeCrestfallen left one agency after a nefarious page embezzlement inquiry. Seems she had been stealing all the page forty-sevens from the other agents' To Be Read piles and keeping them for herself. Her book, Pilfered Pages, is due out next year. We wish her all the best.


And lastly, Drake Goodlooking started up his own agency above his favorite bakery so that he could use the color puce on every surface without hearing all the puce-discriminating comments of others.


If you’d like to add your own theories... or even a few facts (if you must), please feel free. And I do apologize for all the wacky places my mind goes while participating in this lovely writing journey.


Okay, back to querying!


Quote for the Day from The Princess Bride (movie)


“You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.” — Inigo Montoya

4 comments:

Caroline Starr Rose said...

Downsizing.

Julie said...

Okay, but that's a lot less fun than the hot tub scenario. :)

Kasie West said...

Querying does seem to bring out the crazy in all of us. I think an agent might go to an agency that promised they'd never have to read through the slush pile again because someone invented a computer that automatically picked out the best queries. OR Maybe someone had a dog who was trained to smell "bad query" from a mile away. OR maybe they went to an agency because they heard that the agency accepted bribes just to read queries. :)

Good luck with your querying and here's hoping the dog doesn't bark when your letter comes on the screen.

Savannah said...

I love how mobile agents are, because it means they have a lot of experience and a lot of connections, and that makes me feel more secure as a writer that these people know What's Up.